Friday, March 21, 2014

Datanerith Entry 13: The Pitter Patter of Dwarven Feet

It seems my Living Quarters couldn't have come a moment too soon! I've recently found out that, in the cramped dormitory that served as a shared bedroom for the majority of the fortress, many of my dwarves have been... getting busy.

Exhibit A!

Wait, Minkot? The moody jeweler? Huh. You know that actually explains quite a bit. I mean, kinda. It doesn't explain why she gave birth right there in the middle of a crowded dining room. Cog the Carpenter and Ral, the Axe-Wielding leader of the crossbowdwarves both just kinda sat there and watched it happen. I guess Minkot just wanted to ensure that she could have a snack, like, immediately afterwards. I checked the stats; the baby girl's name is Mafol, and the father is Asmel. The bookkeeper! Well that makes sense, I guess. His office was, like, right next to the dormitory. I guess one night he just poked his head out, saw whiny ol' Minkot, and said "You'll do."

First the bookkeeper and now the broker? All my smart dwarves are getting laid like crazy!

Whoa, OK! Barely even had time to let Minkot's child register. That's cool, though, the Elven Charity had donated more than enough food for a couple more kids. Mistem's little girl is named Datan. Nice! This fortress is called Datanerith. Datan is a damn fine name if you ask me, Mistem. Damn fine. And who's the father...? Sibrek? Hahahaha, seriously?? You fucked Sibrek, Mr. Trip-On-A-Chicken-and-Break-His-Back? Oh, god, somebody keep their eyes on poor Datan. 

I didn't even know Melbil was a woman!

OK, shit! Stop making babies! We've got too many fucking babies in this fort!

You know what? Just take it. I've got plenty.

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